I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
