how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
