I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
whose parrot is this?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
