she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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