He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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