everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
