I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
