It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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