so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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