I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
