I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
