I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
