yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
