i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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