Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
