It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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