Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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