Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
