she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
