p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
