i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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