My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
