There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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