yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
