? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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