so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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