shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
