is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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