i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
