He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
