You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
