you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
