this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
