I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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