his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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