We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
