Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
