Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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