my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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