Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
