Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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