When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
