he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
