Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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