Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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