sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
