3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
