i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
