she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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