based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
