so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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