My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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