i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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